Footprints Home Episodes People King's Bay Step Inside Forum Episodes People King's Bay Step Inside Forum Episodes People King's Bay Step Inside Forum


EPISODE #716

Previously...
- Alex told Trevor that he would keep the secret that they slept together right after Trevor returned to King's Bay, even though Trevor was engaged to Liam at the time.
- Alex and Liam developed a friendship as they worked together on adapting Alex's novel into a screenplay.
- On the night of the rehearsal dinner, Trevor came to Alex and told him that he wasn't sure he could marry Liam because he still has feelings for Alex. Alex sadly encouraged him to follow his heart but insisted that they could not be together. 


RAINIER TERRACE APARTMENTS

Trevor Brooks's fingers tremble as he pulls the key from the ignition. He sits in the parked car for a long moment, gathering his thoughts. He has to do this. He knows he has to do this. Right?

If he doesn't, tomorrow will go fine. It will even be nice. The rehearsal dinner earlier tonight was lovely; there was a genuine joy in the air. Trevor felt it, too. But there was also that gnawing discontent, that thing that has been eating at him for months and months. He knows--as much as he would like to ignore it--that in three months or a year or however long, it is going to spring up and overtake him. And he cannot live like that.

He opens the car door and steps out into the dark parking lot. He has to tell his legs to take each step, since they seem prepared to give out and spare him from having to do this.

A sense of dread swells in his stomach as he knocks on the door. Alex Marshall's words from earlier drum against the inside of his head:

"But you should call off the wedding because you don't think it's right to marry Liam--not because of me."

"It's kind of all wound up together," Trevor says.

"It shouldn't be." Alex can't even make eye contact now; he stares off into the yard, at an oak tree silhouetted by a street light. "You and I--we can't be together. Not now."

  Trevor Brooks

"What?"

"Liam is my friend. I can't do that to him. And after all you and I have been through…" He shakes his head, as if preemptively shutting down the protest that he knows is coming. "I can't do it. I won't."

Before he can fully push that immersive memory aside, the door opens, and there he is: Liam Cassel, looking as handsome as ever even though he has changed into a hooded sweatshirt and a pair of track pants. 

"Hi," Liam says, a smile turning up one end of his mouth. "I thought we weren't going to see one another until the wedding."

"I know." Trevor stuffs his hands in his trouser pockets. "Can I come in?"

He sees the alarm go off inside Liam's head. Several seconds pass before he calmly steps aside to let Trevor in.

The furnished apartment, with its uniform coating of beige and its unremarkable watercolors of trees and flowers, has always felt so dull and lifeless to Trevor--which, he supposes, is the point. It is the definition of generic, outfitted to be functional but entirely inoffensive. They never intended for Liam to be here this long, but with all the traveling and the wedding planning and the fact that it has been convenient for Trevor to stay at his parents' while they have been on their many cruises, it just sort of worked out that way.

"I didn't wake you up, did I?" Trevor asks.

"No." Liam stands by the now-closed front door. "What's the matter? Are you panicking?"

"I wanted to talk."

"Okay…" Liam makes his way toward the couch. "Shall we sit?"

He does. Trevor remains on his feet, swaying back and forth as he tries to find the right words.

"Is something making you nervous?" Liam asks. "Is it the wedding?"

"That's the thing," Trevor says, having to yank each syllable through his bone-dry throat. "There can't be a wedding."


JASON FISHER'S HOUSE

Alex Marshall is back at the dining room table, his laptop in front of him, just as he was before Trevor stopped by. The only difference is that he is getting even less work done now. The cursor flashes onscreen, left hanging in the middle of a sentence that Alex has no hope of finishing tonight.

"Okay, I think I finally negotiated her into sleeping," Jason Fisher says as he descends the staircase. "Fingers crossed."

Alex turns in the high-backed chair. "Oh. Good."

Jason steps into the dining room and plants himself at the end of the table. "Now do you wanna tell me who was at the door before?"

"What?"

"You went outside for ten minutes and came back in looking like you'd seen a ghost."

Alex cannot entirely deny that, so he just shrugs. 

"Was it Cameron?" Jason asks. "Something happen with you guys?"

"No." His gaze drifts over the dark wood of the table and the centerpiece of fresh flowers set out by the housekeeper. "It was Trevor."

Jason's forehead wrinkles with suspicion. "Wasn't the rehearsal dinner tonight?"

"Yeah."

"And…?"

"I'm not really at liberty to say."

"What, does he have cold feet?" Jason lets that sit just long enough in the silence. "He does? Wow."

Alex stands. "Please keep this between us. If anyone found out--especially Lauren, or, I don't know--it would be really bad."

"Yeah. Of course. Scout's honor… or whatever. Did you talk him out of it? There's gonna be a wedding?"

"I don't know."

"Oh, shit," Jason says, his system alive with the electric shock of realization. "Was this about the two of you--like…?"

"That's how it sounded. And I shut him down, FYI. I told him no. Flat-out."

Jason inhales sharply as he absorbs that. "So he wanted to call off the wedding to be with you?"

"Yeah. I guess." Alex grimaces. "This happened with Seth, too. What is it about me that makes guys want to ditch out on their weddings at the last minute?" 

"Seth was a whole different kind of screwed-up," Jason says. "He had no idea what he wanted. Trevor, on the other hand…"

"I don't even know what to think. Maybe it is just cold feet. He and Liam obviously love each other."

"Yeah…"

"What's that mean?"

"I think they're very good for each other in some ways," Jason says, speaking slowly as he picks a careful path through the words. "But I think what you and Trevor had--have--is one of those once-in-a-lifetime things."

Alex slumps back into his chair. "Ugh. That is not what I wanted to hear."

"Maybe… but what do you feel?"

"That this is a big mess," Alex says. "That's all I've got right now."


RAINIER TERRACE APARTMENTS

Trevor's proclamation sits there like a landmine planted in the room, each man afraid to make the next move for fear of setting it off. Finally Trevor can bear the silence no longer and has to press onward.

"I'm sorry," he says, the only sensible addendum to the bomb he just dropped.

Liam's response comes swiftly. "You want to call off the wedding? Now that all our family and friends have traveled all this way and spent all this time and money?"

"I don't want to--but I need to."

"What in the world does that mean?"

"It means I should have been smart enough to recognize this a long time ago." Trevor has spent so much time scouring for the right words to say this, ones that will get the point across without being hurtful or trivializing the relationship that he and Liam have shared. "Marriage is just… it's a once-in-a-lifetime thing. I know it isn't for a lot of people nowadays, but I don't want to go into one being less than a hundred percent sure."

"And you're saying you aren't one hundred percent sure about me? About us?"

He didn't expect such anger from Liam, though he can't say he is surprised by it, either. Trevor himself can hardly believe the upheaval he is about to cause; he has had to divorce these emotions from the logistics of the wedding, or he would never be able to do this.

"I'm realizing that," he says softly, apologetically. "I thought--I wanted to believe that this was it. But there's, like, this little voice inside me… and I can't ignore it and walk down that aisle."

Liam's fists ball up and then unclench. He stomps over a small area of the carpet, back and forth, before he has more to say.

"And what, pray tell, is this little voice telling you?" he says.

"That I shouldn't do this! I don't know what else to say. I'm sorry. Do you really want to marry someone who's having doubts like this?"

Liam's entire posture softens. "Maybe that's all this is. Doubt. You're nervous. Getting married is a tremendous step--"

"It's more than that."

"How do you know?"

"Because." 

He can't say the rest. He shouldn't have to. This is about him and Liam--not Alex, not anyone else.

Liam swallows hard, his gaze fixated on something on the wall behind Trevor. "You'd like me to tell my family, after they flew all the way across the world, that there's not going to be a wedding? After all the time and money we spent--"

"Is that a reason to commit our lives to something? Because we spent money on stuff?" Trevor shakes his head. "I can't do this. I'm so sorry, Liam."

Liam stares him down for an impossibly long moment.

"Fuck off," he finally says. 

"Liam…"

"You need to leave. Now."

Trevor knows that he has no choice, so he heads for the door. Liam takes a giant step backward, clearing more than enough room for him to pass.

"I'm sorry," Trevor says as he opens the door.

Liam doesn't respond.


BRENT TAYLOR'S HOUSE

Lauren Brooks Taylor stands on the front porch, pulling her wool coat close to her body. She watches expectantly for every pair of headlights that come down the street, but none are the ones she's waiting for. She knows her exit was awkward; she told Josh and his siblings that it had to do with her brother and stepped outside. She knows their heads must be filled with all sorts of ideas, but right now, that doesn't matter. Whatever Trevor is dealing with, it sounds serious.

Finally one set of headlights pull up to the curb. Lauren walks out to the street to meet him.

"What happened?" she asks.

Trevor sticks his hands in his coat pockets as he walks toward her.

"Is it Liam?" she says. Everything about his demeanor--even the text he sent her earlier--is making her nervous.

"I'm calling off the wedding," he says."

  Lauren Brooks Taylor

"You're what?"

"I… I don't think it's right to go through with it."

"What do you mean? You love Liam. And you guys have been planning this wedding for a year."

Trevor's voice is slow but firm. "That's not a reason to go through with a wedding. Or a marriage."

Lauren nods sympathetically. "Is this about Alex?" She's scared to broach the question, but she also knows that she has to.

It takes Trevor several seconds to respond.

"I don't know," he admits.

"Well… if Alex didn't exist, how would you feel about marrying Liam?"

Trevor leans against the parked car. A street light illuminates him from behind, giving his brown hair a radiant yellow glow.

"I wish I knew," he says. 

Lauren folds her arms against the cold and searches for something, anything, to say.

"So it's official?" she asks. "No wedding?"

"I just told Liam it's off." 

"How did he take that?"

"Not well. At all. Not that I blame him."

"But it isn't responsible to go through with the wedding if I feel like this?"

"No, you're right." She lets out a sigh, and a puff of cold air floats from her mouth. "I'm sorry, Trev. Come here."

She folds her brother into a hug.

"I'm not making a huge mistake, am I?" he asks, his face pressed into her shoulder.

"I'm not the one who can answer that," she says. "I just want you to be happy--and if you don't think marrying Liam will make you happy, then you shouldn't do it."

"Okay," he says, not sounding entirely convinced. All Lauren can do is squeeze him tighter.


JASON FISHER'S HOUSE 

Alex is finally ready to go to sleep--or at least lie in bed staring at the ceiling--when the text message comes in. His heart begins racing all over again. He waits for what seems like an eternity, killing time in the dark dining room on his laptop, idly looking at things that he has no intention of buying, until he sees a car through the front window.

Careful to be quiet because Jason and Sophie are upstairs sleeping, he slips on his shoes and ducks out the door, closing it softly behind himself. The car's lights go dark, and Liam steps out of his rental car, a nondescript maroon sedan.

Alex meets him halfway, in the middle of the driveway.

"Are you okay?" Alex asks, his gut quivering.

"I'm sorry to bother you," Liam says. "I don't have many friends of my own here."

"No, it's okay. What happened?"

Liam turns, and as the light from the house catches his face, Alex sees that his eyes are puffy and red. He doesn't even know what to ask, especially because he already knows the answer.

"The wedding is off," Liam says, the words catching in his throat. "Trevor just told me we aren't getting married."

"What?!" Alex feels like a fraud feigning shock, but he knows there is nothing else he can do. He can't reveal that Trevor came to him or what has happened between them. 

"It feels like it's come totally out of the blue," Liam says. "Everything was going wonderfully. The rehearsal dinner was beautiful. I was all set to marry the man that I love, and then… I haven't a clue what this is about."

The night is cold, and Alex wears only a light sweatshirt. That makes it even harder for him to focus on finding the proper words. 

"I don't know what to say," he says. "You guys seemed… so solid."

"I thought so, too." Liam looks to be on the verge of crying again and seems to be fighting the tears.

"I'm so sorry, Liam."

"Thank you."

"I don't even know what to do. I was planning to spend my life with him. I'm in a foreign country, and now…"  

"You don't have to figure any of that out tonight," Alex says. 

Liam lets out a loud sigh, almost more of a growl, a claw that reaches out from within him to slash at the night. "What did I do? Something must have made him do this…"

Alex's body seizes up and feels like it's going to collapse upon itself. His heart aches for what Liam must be going through. "Maybe it isn't about you. Maybe it's all about Trevor. No matter how well you know a person…" He doesn't know how to get out of that, so he just blows past it. "Do you want to come inside? Have a drink? Some hot chocolate, coffee…?"

"No. It was wrong of me to come here. I know you and Trevor are friends."

The statement, so straightforward and factual, feels like a knife in Alex's innards.

"I'm here for you, too," he says. He tries to remind himself that he did nothing wrong. He turned Trevor away earlier. It would only hurt Liam more to hear about their conversation. 

"Maybe I'll go back to England for a bit, be with my family." Liam pauses to sniffle. "I don't know. My life was supposed to be here. With Trevor."

"I'm so sorry," Alex says. He reaches out and places a hand on Liam's arm, giving a gentle, comforting rub. A hug seems too intimate, but he knows that he must make some kind of gesture. If he were in Liam's position, he would want that.

"I'm sorry for dropping all this on you," Liam says, "but you would've heard eventually, and I… I couldn't tell my parents yet…"

"I'm here to listen. We are friends."

"Thank you," Liam says, as one tear and then another trickle down his face. "I don't know what I'm going to do."

"You're going to be okay," Alex says, guilt whirling inside him so wildly that he feels like he might vomit.

END OF EPISODE #716

Has Alex made the right choices?
Was Trevor wrong to call off the wedding?
Did you enjoy seeing Lauren again?
Join us in the Footprints Forum to talk about it all!

Next Episode

 

 

Posted:
Saturday, Nov. 02, 2013

For a printable version,
click here.

Home / Episodes / People / King's Bay / Step Inside / Forum