Episode #452

- After his initial shock that Trevor had kept secret his past in porn, Alex decided to give him another chance. Still, Alex kept quiet about his recent encounters with Seth.
- Courtney attended Claire and Ryan's wedding as Jason's date, but both made it out of the explosion okay.
- Brian hoped to smooth over the awkwardness between him and Katherine after they both survived the blast, but Katherine remained cool toward him.
- Sarah's doctor advised Matt to terminate Sarah's pregnancy in order to give her a better chance of recovering from her injuries. Matt sadly agreed.


The day after the explosion at the restaurant, Jason Fisher continues to move around in a haze. He was at the hospital until the early hours of the morning, and after he dropped off Courtney, he managed only a few hours of horrible sleep. He kept waking up, and when he did fall asleep, he was confronted with confusing, disturbing dreams that took him back to the very event that he hoped to escape. Getting out of bed unrested was a pleasant alternative to reliving that crisis in his sleep.

Now he stands over the living room couch, stuffing things into his messenger bag, while Alex Marshall watches television.

"You're seriously going to work?" Alex asks, though it is less a question than an accusation of insanity.

"I need to do something. I can't sit around here all day, thinking." Jason digs through the papers in his bag. "Have you seen a file with a bunch of floorplans in it?"

Alex shakes his head. "Are you sure you brought it home?"

"Yeah. I was looking at it before I went to the--yesterday morning." Which means it is probably in his room. He ducks in there, finds it on the nightstand, and heads back to the living room to stick it in his bag.

"You really need to rest," Alex says. He makes it sound like it is the easiest thing in the world.

"I tried that. It was a mess. This way, I'll work a few hours, wear myself out, and maybe get some actual sleep tonight."

Alex sits up on the couch. "Are you sure you don't need to, like, talk to someone? A professional? All of you guys probably need to, after what you went through."

The idea doesn't sound entirely ridiculous to Jason, but for the moment, he doesn't have the energy to think about it, let alone discuss it.

"What do you have going on today?" Jason asks, hoping to steer the subject elsewhere.

"Trevor and I are making dinner. Just having a quiet night. You're welcome to come over and hang out with us, if you want."

"Thanks, but no thanks. I'm not traumatized enough to play third wheel."

"It's no big deal."

"I appreciate it, but I'm fine, seriously." Jason closes up the bag and slings it over his shoulder. "You're not trying to get out of being alone with Trevor, are you?"

"No! No. Things are fine. They're good." Alex falls silent for a short moment and then adds, "The whole porn thing was weird, but we're getting back to normal."

"Good. Secret porn careers aside, Trevor is a good guy."

Alex nods. Jason hopes that the faraway look in his eyes has to do with Trevor and not with Seth Ashby.

"If you need anything, give me a call," Alex says.

"Thanks," Jason says as he moves for the door. He has to admit that his body is weary, but he doesn't allow himself to second-guess his decision to go to the office. Until his mind is as tired as his body, he will not be ready to attempt sleep again.


"That's all well and good, but when do you suppose I'll be able to return home?" Katherine Fitch asks her doctor. The litany of tests and other alleged safety precautions that the man just detailed means nothing to her; all she wants is some peace and quiet in her suite back at the hotel.

"That depends on what we find," the doctor, a tall man with weathered skin, tells her in a patient tone. "I hesitate to speculate much, but if all goes well, I see no reason why you couldn't be released this afternoon."

"Thank goodness!" Katherine allows her head to fall back against the woefully flimsy hospital pillow. "I'm not sure how many more hours of these horrible lights and cheap sheets I can handle!"

With a genial smile, the doctor leaves the room. She hears voices out in the hallway. A moment later, the doctor ducks back inside.

"You have a visitor. Is it all right if I send him in?"

"Him?" She cannot imagine who it might be. Ryan came in to see her before he finally went home this morning… and there is only one other possibility that springs to mind.

"You can tell Mr. Hamilton that I'm not in the mood for visitors right now," she says.

"I'm afraid I'm not Mr. Hamilton, though from the sounds of it, that's a good thing," a voice says from out in the hall.

The familiarity of the voice takes Katherine by surprise. It isn't possible.

The doctor steps aside, and Katherine's visitor enters the room. She is certain that this must be some kind of delusion.

"What are you doing here? How did you know?" she asks, ready to leap out of the bed.

"I wanted to make sure you were all right. It's good to see you, Mother," Andy Fitch says as he approaches the bed.


Matt Gray sits in the chair where he spent most of the night, trying to make his brain engage with the copy of Sports Illustrated in his hands. No matter how hard he tries, though, he always winds up staring back at the bed, at Sarah, lying there so still and troublingly peaceful. He has been saying intermittent prayers all night for her to wake up, but he also dreads having to explain things to her.

He is staring at the bed, debating whether it is even worth trying to focus on another article, when he sees movement out of the corner of his eye. He turns and sees Diane Bishop entering the room.

"Morning," Matt says, setting down the magazine.

"Hey. Any news?"

He shakes his head. Diane moves to Sarah's bedside and takes in the sight of her, as Matt has been doing all night and all morning.

"Thanks for taking Tori home," he says. "How's she doing?"

"They slept forever. Tim made them breakfast food for lunch. They've just been hanging around."

"Good. I'd rather keep her away from this for now."

Lips held tightly, Diane nods. Matt never imagined that he would be sharing a close moment with this bold, crass woman, but right now, they are drawn together by their mutual concern for Sarah and the understanding of what it means to be a protective parent.

"Did you get much sleep?" Diane asks. Unspoken bonds aside, there is still an uncertain awkwardness between them. Matt is sure that Diane feels it as much as he does, but right now, he is just grateful to have someone here who can relate to his plight.

"Not really. I dozed off for a few minutes every hour, I guess."

He trails off, realizing how irrelevant the details of his sleeping are. His wife is lying here, fighting for her life, unaware that the child that was growing inside her is no longer there. Whether or not he had a sufficient amount of sleep means nothing.

"She's going to be all right," Diane says, catching his eye. "This is Sarah. This is the woman who managed to stay calm when we were being chased by a homicidal Rottweiler. She's a fighter."

Matt knows that she is right, and he wants so badly to agree, but this seems so much bigger than them now.

He is still trying to think of something to say, some way to respond, when he sees it. Diane notices, too, and suddenly their attention is off their conversation and fully on Sarah.

Then it happens again: she stirs.


Alex sets the grocery bag on the countertop and begins unpacking its contents. Trevor Brooks stands at the open refrigerator, scanning the shelves and removing an item every now and then.

"Did you get parmesan?" Trevor asks as he searches the refrigerator.

Alex pulls the plastic container from the bag. "Right here."

"Excellent." Trevor gathers a few more things and closes the fridge. "How's Jason doing?"

"He says he's fine. I'm not so sure, but maybe he just needs some time to get his head straight. I'm going to keep an eye on him, regardless."

Trevor gets out a pot and fills it with water.

"I can't even imagine what must be going through all of their heads," he says. "I've been watching it on the news all day, and it's, like, something from a movie. They said that Moriani guy was decapitated. Like, head totally off."

Alex winces at the detail, though Jason shared it earlier.

"Did you hear about Camille Lemieux?" Alex asks carefully.

Trevor sets the pot on the stovetop and turns around somberly. "Yeah. I can't even believe that."

They stand in mournful quiet for a few moments, and when Trevor starts the burner, the sound of the flame striking up rattles Alex.

"I feel like kind of a jerk saying this, but I'm glad Lauren wasn't there with Jason," Trevor says. "I mean, I'm glad Jason and Courtney are okay, but…"

"No, I know what you mean."

Trevor puts a lid on the pot and makes his way over to Alex. He faces him and rests his arms over Alex's shoulders, leaving them face-to-face and linked together.

"Something like that, it really makes you appreciate the people in your life," Trevor says.

Alex nods. Ever since Jason called him from the hospital last night, he has been thinking the same things: how life is short, regret is stupid, moments are fleeting.

Trevor looks him right in the eye. "I'm so lucky. And I'm so grateful. After what happened on Christmas…" He shudders, no doubt at the memory of his very explicit video being turned on for his family and Alex to see.

"I'm just so glad you guys were all able to give me a second chance," he says, "even after I lied to you."

His lips settle over Alex's.

When they finally separate, Trevor adds, "I'll never lie like that again, I swear. I was an idiot to think that you would hold my past against me. It's all honesty between us from now on."

"All honesty," Alex repeats with a weary smile. He is thankful when Trevor kisses him again and there are no more words to complicate things. He tries to concentrate on what he has right here and promises himself that whatever happened with him and Seth is in the past and will stay there for good.


Jason didn't expect to be so rattled by what he experienced yesterday, but now, as he walks through the empty rink, he cannot deny the chill in his veins. There is something ominous about the deserted building. He had assumed that there would be public skating time or hockey practice or something going on; only now does he realize that it is the off-season for all those activities, so of course it is dead on a weekend.

Trying to ignore his fears, he makes his way up the back stairs to the second floor, where his office is temporarily housed. His every step bounces off the walls, filling the place with a hollow echo that keeps his pulse on the brink of racing.

Get a grip, he tells himself as he proceeds down the hallway toward the office.

And then he hears it: a sound, most definitely not his.

He cannot even identify it, other than to call it "movement." He pauses and, sure enough, there it is again: the unmistakable sounds of another person moving around. Peering down the hall, he sees that the door to the office is open.

Are they being robbed? That makes no sense. Why would someone creep all the way up here to steal office supplies and flooring samples?

With the utmost care and the softest of steps, he creeps toward the open door. The sounds of movement from within continue. Jason pulls his cell phone from his pocket, just in case he needs to use it.

He slides up next to the door and cranes his neck to peek inside the office.

"What are you doing here?" he asks abruptly.

Courtney Chase, her back to him, startles and drops the file folder in her hands. It hits the ground, and papers spill around her feet.

"Oh my God!" She whips around, trying to catch her breath. "You scared the crap out of me."

"Sorry. I didn't know anyone would be here."

"And what are you doing here?"

"Same thing as you, it looks like," Jason says. "Trying to keep my mind off things by working."

Courtney admits as much with a shrug. She kneels down to gather the scattered papers, and Jason joins her.

"Did you get any sleep when you got home?" he asks.

"Not really. Hence the hanging out at the office."

"Are you managing to get anything done?"

"I guess. Mostly just staring at papers, then at my computer, then at some other papers, then back at my computer. But at least I feel like I'm doing something."

Jason understands the feeling. Nodding, he hands her the papers he has gathered. Their eyes lock, and they remain like that, kneeling, each holding onto the same piece of paper.

"I'm so glad you're okay," he says.

Courtney grins, but it's a little awkward, a little unsure. "Thanks. I'm happy you didn't get blown to pieces, either."

"Seriously, Court. When we were in that basement--I thought we were gonna die--and I kept thinking how stupid it was that we wasted all this time."

She doesn't say anything, but Jason can read her eyes--at least, he thinks he can. Hoping that he is not misreading them, he leans in, and when he detects no resistance, he touches his lips to hers. Their kiss is deep but soft, passionate but calm, as if showing reverence for their lucky fates.

"We have wasted a lot of time," Courtney says once they part. "Maybe we needed to, so that we could appreciate this."

"Maybe." He takes her hand and helps her to her feet. "What do you say we get out of here and go get something to eat?"

Courtney slaps the reassembled file down on her desk. "I say that's a brilliant plan. I ate before I left the house, but…"

"That's the beautiful thing about trauma: you can always eat a little more. How about we go to 322 and you can reflect on how happy you are not to be waiting tables anymore?"

"That sounds like an excellent plan."

She takes his hand, and they make their way for the door.


Katherine cannot believe what she is seeing. She has tried so many things over the years: writing letters, calling on the telephone, pleading her case. None of them have succeeded at anything but getting a few polite words out of her son. Yet now here he is, in her hospital room, making the move toward her.

"Andrew," she says, reaching out for him. He takes her hand without hesitation.

"I'm so glad you're all right," he says. "What has the doctor said?"

"It's only a concussion. He said they have to do a few more tests, but I'm sure those are only formalities."

"Thank God."

Andy stares down at her in awe, as if attempting to process the reality of the situation.

"You saw it on the news?" she asks. She is still slightly out of sorts from the concussion, but she suspects that her son's appearance has much more to do with her sudden dizziness.

"Yes," he says. "It would've been difficult to miss. But they weren't giving the names of the victims yet, so I had no way of knowing…"

"So you came all the way from Seattle on an instinct?" The news fills Katherine with joy, and whatever physical discomfort she has been experiencing is forgotten. After all this time, there really is a chance for her and Andrew.

"I'm afraid not," he says. "A friend of yours phoned me. He said that he was worried about you, and he thought the only thing that might lift your spirits would be…"

"…having you here. Yes. Of course."

"I'm glad that he contacted me," Andy says, "but I'm even happier to see that you're all right. Nothing that some rest can't fix, I'd imagine."

Katherine smiles. Exactly. Everything will be all right, even after the horrible things that Nick put her--put all of them--through. But this friend…

"This man who phoned you," she begins, careful to keep emotion out of her voice. "Did he happen to say…"

"Brian Hamilton. It seems like he cares very much for you, if he went to the trouble of contacting me."

"It does seem that way," Katherine says, lying back against the pillow as she tries to wrap her mind around this latest wrinkle.


They remain like that for minutes, Matt and Diane, hovering over Sarah's bed and watching as she shows signs of coming to life. A low, guttural sound rolls from her throat and chest; she shifts her weight around in the bed. Still, her eyes remain closed, and so Matt and Diane stand there, watching and waiting.

Finally, her eyelids rise just enough to reveal a sliver of white. Matt's hope surges at the same time as the fear within him reaches fever pitch. He wants so badly to have her awake. Talking to her and seeing her in motion are the only things that will convince him that she is all right and that they can get past this. But he also knows that, the moment she is awake and coherent, they have to face reality.

Then the whites of her eyes give way to the irises, and she is looking right at him.

"Hey," he says tentatively.

Sarah stares at him for a maddeningly long time. Does she not recognize him? Can she not speak? It takes every bit of strength he has to keep the million questions from spilling out of him.

"Hi," she says at last, even managing the faint ghost of a smile. It is the most beautiful thing that Matt has ever seen.

She looks over and sees Diane. "Hi."

"Thank God," Diane says. "You had us worried."

Sarah takes in her surroundings, suddenly aware of the hospital room and the machines. "What's going on?" she asks. "Are we--why am I--"

"Do you remember what happened at the restaurant?" he asks as delicately as he can.

Sarah hesitates, but he can see the change in her face as it comes back to her.

"The bomb went off." Her face goes white, and she grips the sheets as she tries to sit up. "Tori. Is she okay? Where is she?"

"She's fine. She's at the condo with Sam," Diane says.

Sarah relaxes ever so slightly.

Matt places a hand on her shoulder and tries to get her to recline. "Take it easy. Everyone is fine."

"Everyone? I'm the only one who was…?"

"Brent was in bad shape, but he's doing okay now. And Molly's boss, that Camille lady, she… she didn't make it," Matt explains.

Sarah takes this in. "My God. What about Nick? Did they get him?"

"He's dead," Diane says firmly. The detail about his head being severed can wait until later.

Matt and Diane engage a look. There is no avoiding this now.

"I should give you guys a few minutes," she says. "Anyone need anything from the cafeteria? Coffee?"

Matt shakes his head. "Could you track down Sarah's doctor for us?"

With a nod, Diane slips out of the room.

"I'm so glad you and Tori are okay," Sarah says, taking Matt's hand.

"We're fine. We're just happy to have you back." He squeezes her hand. "Sarah, there's something…"

Their eyes meet, and again, he can see the change in Sarah's face. Her free hand drifts down to her stomach, and he can tell that she knows. No words necessary.

"Oh my God." Her hand rests over her stomach but doesn't quite touch it, as if she is afraid to do any further damage.

"The baby was too weak," Matt says, talking fast now. "The doctor said if you had any chance of making it, your body couldn't--there was no other choice."

Sarah accepts this silently. He cannot gauge her reaction to this additional piece of news, as her grief is already too powerful.

They sit there in silence until Sarah cracks out a sob. She squeezes Matt's hand again, and he is grateful for the contact. He has her back, and somehow, some way, they will get through this.


Will Sarah and Matt be able to work through their grief together?
Will having Andy back in her life change Katherine's outlook?
Will Alex and Trevor be able to rebuild their relationship?
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